I broke the 200lb barrier on Thanksgiving... then promptly gained the weight back during feasting :P

So on Thanksgiving I weighed myself and I broke the 200lb mark weighing in at 198.4. This was in the morning after using the washroom and before hydrating with my water that I usually take in when waking up. Currently, I am at 200.4 which means that I probably stayed the same for weight more or less as I usually weigh myself after drinking my water.

Anyways, yeah... Right now it doesn't feel like a lot of time has passed especially considering that I don't post frequently. I am thankful that I have my gf with me as we work towards becoming more fit.

It's funny how I have been getting a lot of compliments as of late when I am at the point where I don't really notice any changes to my body. I have hit a plateau in terms of weight loss due to probably enjoying my self more with food and also my body acclimating to my workout regime.

To counter my stagnation, I have personal training sessions 3 times a week with my boot camp instructor. Had my first session yesterday and for the first time in a long time I feel really sore. I swear I flipped this big tire so much that I should have gotten a ton of frequent flier miles for the distance I covered! This session was one hour after my boot camp class that I take with my girlfriend.

Also, I'm letting Tony, my personal trainer/boot camp instructor adjust my nutrition for me. I pasted my shopping list below! That's 5200 calories a day! It seems like a lot, but I'm going to be adding more muscle so we'll so how this goes for the month of December!

Anyways, I guess that's all for now. Just wanted to update people on what I'm up to and where I'm at.

Fruits

Grapefruit, raw : 1 large (approx 4-1/2" dia)

Grapefruit, raw : 1 large (approx 4-1/2" dia)

Grapefruit, raw : 1 large (approx 4-1/2" dia)

Grapefruit, raw : 1 large (approx 4-1/2" dia)

Orange juice : 1 cup

Orange juice : 1 cup

Orange juice : 1 cup

Orange juice : 1 cup

Apple, raw : 1 large (3-1/4" dia) (approx 2 per lb)

Apple, raw : 1 large (3-1/4" dia) (approx 2 per lb)

Apple, raw : 1 large (3-1/4" dia) (approx 2 per lb)

Apple, raw : 1 large (3-1/4" dia) (approx 2 per lb)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Banana, raw : 1 large (8" to 8-7/8" long)

Strawberries, raw : 1/2 cup, NFS

Strawberries, raw : 1/2 cup, NFS

Strawberries, raw : 1/2 cup, NFS

Strawberries, raw : 1/2 cup, NFS

Strawberries, frozen, unsweetened : 1/3 cup, thawed

Strawberries, frozen, unsweetened : 1/3 cup, thawed

Strawberries, frozen, unsweetened : 1/3 cup, thawed

Strawberries, frozen, unsweetened : 1/3 cup, thawed

Vegetables

Broccoli, cooked, NS as to form, NS as to fat added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Broccoli, cooked, NS as to form, NS as to fat added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Broccoli, cooked, NS as to form, NS as to fat added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Broccoli, cooked, NS as to form, NS as to fat added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Carrots, raw : 10 baby carrot

Carrots, raw : 10 baby carrot

Carrots, raw : 10 baby carrot

Carrots, raw : 10 baby carrot

Carrots, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, sliced

Carrots, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, sliced

Carrots, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, sliced

Carrots, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, sliced

Sweetpotato, baked, peel eaten, fat not added in cooking : 1 large

Sweetpotato, baked, peel eaten, fat not added in cooking : 1 large

Sweetpotato, baked, peel eaten, fat not added in cooking : 1 large

Sweetpotato, baked, peel eaten, fat not added in cooking : 1 large

Lettuce, salad with assorted vegetables including tomatoes and/or carrots, no dressing : 1 side salad

Lettuce, salad with assorted vegetables including tomatoes and/or carrots, no dressing : 1 side salad

Lettuce, salad with assorted vegetables including tomatoes and/or carrots, no dressing : 1 side salad

Lettuce, salad with assorted vegetables including tomatoes and/or carrots, no dressing : 1 side salad

Beans, string, green, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, frozen

Beans, string, green, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, frozen

Beans, string, green, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, frozen

Beans, string, green, cooked, from frozen, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, frozen

Cauliflower, cooked, from fresh, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Cauliflower, cooked, from fresh, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Cauliflower, cooked, from fresh, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Cauliflower, cooked, from fresh, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, flowerets

Mushrooms, cooked, from fresh, fat not added in cooking : 1 Typical Serving

Peppers, red, cooked, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup

Peppers, red, cooked, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup

Peppers, red, cooked, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup

Peppers, red, cooked, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup

Grains

Oatmeal, cooked, regular, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, dry, yields

Oatmeal, cooked, regular, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, dry, yields

Oatmeal, cooked, regular, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, dry, yields

Oatmeal, cooked, regular, fat not added in cooking : 1 cup, dry, yields

Plant Proteins

Cashew nuts, roasted, without salt : 1/3 cup

Cashew nuts, roasted, without salt : 1/3 cup

Cashew nuts, roasted, without salt : 1/3 cup

Cashew nuts, roasted, without salt : 1/3 cup

Almond butter : 3 tablespoon

Almond butter : 3 tablespoon

Almond butter : 3 tablespoon

Almond butter : 3 tablespoon

Peanut butter : 3 tablespoon

Peanut butter : 3 tablespoon

Peanut butter : 3 tablespoon

Peanut butter : 3 tablespoon

Meats

Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten : 1 large breast (yield after cooking, bone and skin removed)

Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten : 1 large breast (yield after cooking, bone and skin removed)

Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten : 1 large breast (yield after cooking, bone and skin removed)

Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten : 4 oz, boneless, cooked (yield after skin removed)

Chicken, breast, with or without bone, roasted, skin not eaten : 1 large breast (yield after cooking, bone and skin removed)

Ocean perch, baked or broiled : 12 oz, boneless, cooked

Ocean perch, baked or broiled : 12 oz, boneless, cooked

Ocean perch, baked or broiled : 12 oz, boneless, cooked

Ocean perch, baked or broiled : 12 oz, boneless, cooked

Eggs & Dairy

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Milk, cow's, fluid, lactose reduced, 2% fat : 12 fl oz

Yogurt, fruit variety, lowfat milk : 1 8 oz container

Yogurt, fruit variety, lowfat milk : 1 8 oz container

Yogurt, fruit variety, lowfat milk : 1 8 oz container

Yogurt, fruit variety, lowfat milk : 1 8 oz container

Cheese, cottage, lowfat (1-2% fat) : 1 cup

Cheese, cottage, lowfat (1-2% fat) : 1 cup

Cheese, cottage, lowfat (1-2% fat) : 1 cup

Cheese, cottage, lowfat (1-2% fat) : 1 cup

Egg, white only, cooked : 3 white

Scrambled egg, made from cholesterol-free frozen mixture with vegetables : 3 Typical Serving

Scrambled egg, made from cholesterol-free frozen mixture with vegetables : 3 Typical Serving

Scrambled egg, made from cholesterol-free frozen mixture with vegetables : 3 Typical Serving

Scrambled egg, made from cholesterol-free frozen mixture with vegetables : 3 Typical Serving

Miscellaneous

Italian dressing, made with vinegar and oil : 3 tablespoon

Italian dressing, made with vinegar and oil : 3 tablespoon

Italian dressing, made with vinegar and oil : 3 tablespoon

Italian dressing, made with vinegar and oil : 3 tablespoon

Coffee, NS as to type : 16 fl oz

Coffee, NS as to type : 16 fl oz

Coffee, NS as to type : 16 fl oz

Coffee, NS as to type : 16 fl oz

Tea, herbal : 453.59g

Tea, herbal : 453.59g

Tea, herbal : 453.59g

Tea, herbal : 453.59g

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

muscle milk : 1 Typical Serving

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 Typical Serving

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 rounded scoop

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 rounded scoop

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 rounded scoop

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 Typical Serving

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 Typical Serving

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 rounded scoop

Optimum whey vanilla : 2 Typical Serving

Wow... I'm 30

So I turned 30 recently and got to enjoy myself 3 times with cheat meals. While I didn't like what I saw on the scale after the weekend, I am content with myself again. It's important to allow yourself things you enjoy. For me, being a foodie brings me much joy. Considering I don't have a cheat day every week. I actually haven't given myself one besides my birthday for a couple of months. Here is a pic of me and my gf after going to the best brunch I've ever had! Getting slimmer again! I guess I should post a before pic from earlier in the year to see a difference. Maybe that will be later...

Right now I'm at 209.8lbs. I do look at the scale everyday, BUT I don't let it rule me. Sure, I get a bit discouraged if I don't like the number I see, but I know I am making progress overall and change doesn't occur instantly for becoming a healthier person.

My female bootcamp instructor, Julie was amazed at my loss as I haven't been to her classes in a while. It's always good to hear encouragement. I have a determination to get to a level of health I've never reached before and it will be hard to deter me at this point, but it's always good to have support on your side. I think that's why I'm liking my bootcamp classes a lot. I do feel like I compete a bit, but there is also a camaraderie from my fellow bootcampers as well as guidance from the trainers.

Oh... talking about getting to a certain level of health, I've set my long term goal to be at 165-170lbs. Essentially, as long as I don't lose muscle mass along with the fat, I should easily have a 6-pack. I actually have a body I want to emulate. I know it's a long way away (~40-45lbs), but I think I can make this by next summer or so. Anyways, I have posted a picture of the body I want. Yes, I think it's funny to even think of this as my long-term goal, but hey... if you have to dream then dream big. Btw... That's Buakaw Por Pramuk. I'm researching where his training camp for the off chance I may be able to see him while I am in Thailand. He's an inch taller than me, but I think he is a good fit for me to try and emulate... maybe one day (and probably billions of sit-ups and kicking drills) I can get a body like his.

Whoa... I lost another 15lbs since my last post!!!

So yeah. I'm sure everyone is smart enough to do the math, but after weighing myself I found myself to be 210.4lbs. I feel like I am losing weight like I am on The Biggest Loser, but I know that I am fine in how much weight I am losing. I am eating much healthier and I did use MediWeight Loss Clinics for a bit of the time. I will not give much credit to them as I don't think they've been that helpful, but I will say that I owe a lot to Tony Battle at Chicago Fitness Coach for my weight loss.

I think the reason for my success is because of my support system. Sure, I can lose the weight by myself w/o support, but I have my girlfriend who is supporting me (I've had problems with gaining weight before when I get comfortable in a relationship) and I also have a place to workout hard where I don't have to think about my workout. With bootcamp classes, I don't have to worry about what I'm going to work on like I did when I was at the gym. Also, I can't slack in class like I can when working out by myself. With my girlfriend, we push each other though I admit I do get a bit zealous with my health craze. It's good to have someone who is getting fit with me!

So with the additional weight loss comes a ton of benefits. Everything fits better for clothes! Like it or not, we're all a bit superficial and vain. I got my haircut today and it's the first time I didn't sit in the chair and look at a round face. It's only slightly round now. That means a lot to me. It brings confidence and gets the ball rolling for more progress. The compliments I get helps a lot!

My blood pressure and heart rate are totally normal now and not at all on the high side. My resting heart rate is also lower. Health wise, I feel great. While I am nowhere close to my skinniest, I do feel almost as fit as I've ever been. When I was at my skinniest, I was a cardio fiend and I don't think that was the best for me.

Right now, my goal for the end of the year is to hit 200 or less while not losing any of the muscle I've gained. That gives me 74 days to make the goal. Really, I think it'll be pretty easy to hit, but I do expect to hit a plateau soon... If I had my way I'd hit 190 with muscle gain.

So what does that mean for what I'm doing now? Well, it means more days of being strict with myself. I haven't indulged myself and have been eating healthy. Even when going out, I'll still watch myself where I'm not even close to going over my calories I burn a day. I miss my food trucks because of this sacrifice. I miss my indulgences. I miss being a foodie. Honestly, healthy cooking is a bit boring as I don't have really cook too much for variety. It's been a lot of chicken breast and egg beaters for myself with different veggies. Working out will be the same. I may add extra days if possible of workouts, but we'll see about that after I refer to my bootcamp instructor.

It's been a lot of sacrifice... but so far with the results it's been totally worth it! There are times when I think it's not, but that's temporary situations. I'm happier and healthier like this overall... I wouldn't change anything I've been doing except work harder!

Below 225!!!

So many obstacles to get through and endure... and yet... I am starting to totally feel I'm really progressing.

Obviously, I didn't keep my other goal for weight loss by September for my cousin's wedding. I didn't even go as there was a lot going on. However, things are finally settling a bit (besides work which always sucks so whatever.)

Finally, I have been able to focus better on working out which I've been doing quite regularly now. I'll even try and go upstairs to workout during lunch at work if I have time though I haven't been able to block off time to do so regularly yet.

Honestly, I want to say my weight loss is because of others like my bootcamp instructors, my girlfriend, or because others worry about me... It really is because of me though. When stressed, I don't grab a pizza puff. Even when I feel lazy, I make myself go to workout as I love the feeling I get after I'm done with the workout. I really should talk about my bootcamp classes sometime soon as I love the variety and always feel challenged (there are some exercises that are staples that I don't like though.) Maybe next post...

None of my usual comfort foods are turned to right now. I will admit my weight should be lower as before I started my new nutrition regiment I indulged myself. I had 2 hot dogs, a pizza puff, and fries on a Monday and a big thing of combination fried rice on Tuesday. Besides a hamburger, I essentially ate all my favorite fast food. Now, I'm on a hiatus from that kind of food until Thailand (going to Thailand around the end of the year!). Sure, I probably can have the things I love once in a while, but I'm content with the healthier stuff for now and since it's a while away everytime I treat myself will add up a bit. I know that if I fall off when I'm being so strict that it would probably be harsh or start me on another cycle of indulging, but I want to be able to walk around without a shirt on the beach and enjoy myself.

Anyways, just wanted to post on my sub-250 milestone.

Maybe I should make a short-term goal for my birthday... If I have around a month what do you think it should be? Personally I'd love to say 200 or sub-200, but I don't think it'd be too realistic for around a month timeframe. Maybe I'll say 210-215?

Salad... Starting to feel like a rabbit

232.8lbs. I did go below 230, but after bday celebration feasts I weight in at 232.8 this morning. Oh well.

Just wanted to post on my lunch of a sandwich and salad. Getting really sick of the salad. Even with different greens and different veggies one can only vary it so much where it really seems different. I'm starting to not like my lunches and put off eating stuff while I work. I'm not starving or anything and it's funny that I will actively choose to not eat right away around noon. I think I'm finally getting away from eating because it's time to eat or because I'm bored mentality.

Anyways, salad is a great filler as I sit here and type this stuffed from the salad I ate. I just think a little variety needs to be had. Tomorrow I am going to try and make the tofu noodles (google hungry girl and pasta and you should be able to see what I'm talking about). Hopefully it'll be something I can have instead of salad almost every weekday. Really will try to post pics of things soon as well.

You are what you don't eat...

We've all heard the expression "you are what you eat"before. I have also been asked to think about what I put into my body and that those are my building blocks that I use for when I get injured and for maintaining my body. Recently, I was chastised by my bootcamp instructor on eating 6 dumplings. I could have eaten more and my mom made them so it's hard to refuse them. This got me to thinking... It's not just thinking about what you're putting into your body as much as thinking about what you're not putting into your body.

Think about that... I'm sure when I was almost 170 that the Nutrisystem I had was fine, but moreso it was the hot dogs, hamburgers, and pizza puffs (really liking pizza puffs right now for some reason) that I didn't eat at all that led to the weight loss. I'm not endorsing Weight Watchers as I don't really know how I feel about the system yet (though I have generalized a few strong opinions), but they don't count fruit and vegetables as points. I don't really think about how many snack bags of baby carrots I eat or how many oranges. I don't think about how much salad I eat. I just eat it because I know those things aren't going to impact me like some other foods will.

Just yesterday, I went to a Chicago White Sox game (won the tickets otherwise I wouldn't go). I thought a great deal about nachos, hot dogs, beers, and all the other good stuff you can get at a ballgame. It was the self-control in knowing I shouldn't really eat any of that stuff that stopped me. I still wish I could have had the $11.50 nachos in the baseball hat. I even tried to justify it by saying I could give the hat to my little nephew when he visits. In the end, I saved myself from probably a 5 figure calorie count... Yes, I would have probably eaten most of it and probably would have snapped at my gf if she took more than a few of the nachos. So really, is it the prevention of 10k+ calories that I should be more conscious about or is it making sure I eat all my veggies that's important?

I'm not advocating preventing yourself from eating foods that you like, but just for kicks think about what you wanted to eat and didn't. Keep track of it like I'm going to do. It's amazing how calories can add up for food that you're not eating!

Btw... I had a polish, fries, and a cup of chili at Lindy's before the game with my gf and friends. I could have looked to get a salad, but comparing what I ate to what I could have eaten still indicates that I saved calories... and really, if you can't enjoy yourself with friends sometimes how can you really be happy?

It'll be another big meal on Friday for a birthday, but I've been good otherwise. Will post as soon as I hit 230 if not sooner!

Nutrisystem

As promised (to myself and whoever reads this) I am going to try and upkeep this blog better. Today, I'd like to share some thoughts on Nutrisystem and really look back on the whole weight loss process during this time.

My absolute skinniest during my adult life is for sure when I was on Nutrisystem. I believe I went from around 240 to around 170-180. That is a change from wearing 36 jeans around my hips to 34 around my natural waist. It's going from an XL to an M. Thinking about that actually makes me a bit sad. All this work... vows to never put it back on again... That's the past though and you can't dwell...

During this time, I believe I just got out of a bad relationship and of course was looking for something to do. It seems like everytime I get into a relationship there is a letting myself go part to be lazier... I needed to improve myself. I ran into an old grade school friend who still lived in the area around this time and found out that he worked out at the gym so I started as well as a means to socialize and also do something about my weight.

In addition to starting at the gym, I started on Nutrisystem. With the different food options (although some of it sucked) it wasn't bad to follow. There's no watching what you eat or really anything thinking. They give you food to eat and you eat it. I don't remember how many calories I was eating a day, but I was really bad about supplementing my meals with fruit and veggies. Actually, I don't think I ever really did. I was obsessed with how much weight I was losing...

While Nutrisystem, played an important part, I would have to say my workouts at the gym were what really defined that time in my life. I lived on the eliptical. I would go and workout for an hour at a high intensity. My job at the time had me travel around Chicago a lot and was very good with time. I would always work out in the evening, but in addition sometimes I had morning workouts because I didn't have to leave for a location until later. Sometimes during the week I could just go back to the gym between travelling to different locations. Either way, I was at least getting an hour worth of exercise everyday and usually it was around 2 hours up to 4 hours I think a few times. I was a beast and really was blinded to anything, but the results.

It's a bit funny, I think one of my downfalls as I started gaining weight again was dropping Nutrisystem as I just didn't know how to eat healthy and I would go out with the guys who didn't have the same zeal for healthy meals as I would need. I started doing more weight training and socializing more at the gym which was great for vanity as I was bulking up nicely, but really wasn't necessary yet as I needed to work more on my cardio still and focus on losing weight than adding some bulk to my arms and chest.

With Nutrisystem, I didn't have to worry about what to eat, but I also never had to learn how to portion myself properly. Also, it was hard to go out as I would have leftover meals from my plan I didn't use if I did go out. I met a girl around that point as well and for the dating process Nutrisystem just didn't fit. Going out to eat, snacks, and other food aspects of dating just didn't help anything.

Of course, I worked out less as well. Slowly, the weight crept back up. Of course, the weight loss process wasn't healthy as I didn't see the doctor and I was really limiting myself on calories daily while expending a lot of energy working out. Unless, I actually changed what I was doing into a sustainable lifestyle I was never really set up for success.

After so many words, I guess the main point is it's a lifestyle and eating habits that needs to be changed in order to have success. Hopefully, I can add little things I learn from my own research and findings... even things I feel from personal failures and successes.

I apologize for rantings and disorganization when I put these up. Really, they aren't planned, but just are a jumble of thoughts that I type up. I'll try to proofread these before posting, but no promises. I don't know if I'll talk about MDBETHIN next or something else... I guess we will see.

Oh... and on a more current topic. I'm at 235 right now after a weekend of dogsitting and having brunch both days... and deep dish pizza. It was the gf's idea and it was a great treat although probably not the best idea so early into this new and hopefully final try into getting in shape. The 235 could also be because I don't think I was taking in enough water previously. Regardless, hopefully I'll hit 230 soon and will be happy once I leave the range of worrying if XL shirts will fit nicely.

232.2 lbs. I think the last time I was back around this weight was December of last year. Hard to keep track when I barely keep up with this blog...

Anyways, have done a few of my bootcamp classes again. Lots has happened since last time I posted which I don't think I'll get into really, but needless to say it's been a draining time for quite a while.

The last two bootcamps I had to forego some of the exercises with one of them where I actually had to vomit outside and the other time I had to stop as I was really winded. Tony, my instructor said it was the food I've been eating and I agree. Pizza puffs and hot dogs have really been comforting during my last weeks at my old apartment and even before then, but it's not the fuel or building blocks I want for my body.

Food from the casino which my parents love to bring home or ask for me and my gf to go eat doesn't help either and just compounds the junk I am putting in my body. The problem is I always feel bad saying no especially when I have to keep repeating myself. It's ridiculous really.

Anyways, I have lots to write about, but I thought I would just touch on that first. I think that may have been my undoing before. While I lost a lot of weight with mdbethin.com and also nutrisystem once I got off their system I would slowly put the weight back on. I'll talk more about those programs another time as I really liked them, but I do have some critiques for them as well.

232.2 from 237 all from diet changes and starting to workout again. I know it's just my body adjusting to eating better again and it's probably loss of water weight, but still it's progress again at least... More later...

137 days...

Forewarning: This is going to be pretty long and winded... so I apologize in advance to whoever reads my blog.

Ok, I need to update this before I get off track as I've been really busy lately...

137 days. Kind of a weird number huh? What is in 137 days? Why 137 days? What about 137 days?

Well... Much has happened between last post and now. I didn't even really have too much to say in the last post either.

First of all, I'm done with all my groupons, youswoops, living social, etc. coupons I had and I enjoyed boot camp the most at Chicago Elite Fitness. Recently, there was another deal for them on youswoop so I bought 3 deals. Essentially, I have 30 classes that are good until October. At 30 dollars for ten classes this wasn't that bad of a deal especially since I really enjoy the classes and am motivated by the instructor. Now I just need to start using them which is hard since I'd like to do them with my girlfriend and it's not the easiest to schedule times.

While I do have my bootcamp classes in pocket to use there are factors that are deterring my fitness goals. One of them is my job. I don't think I could ever truly say I loved my job, but it's been good money. Lately, and actually in spurts I have loathed my job. Just now I received an e-mail that just upsets me so much when I usually just keep things inside. The problem is that I do not bounce back to being okay with it like I used to do. I resent coming in everyday it feels like and I tend to keep different hours now just because I don't feel a need to come in on a better time. While most of the time the time I do spend on the job is ok, lately it's been nothing, but stressful. I've taken my lunches as my only respite and I find myself walking around the loop looking for places to eat.

In looking for places to eat, I've found and have grown to love the food truck culture which is growing in Chicago. I've become friends with one of the owners/drivers and I will eat his food at least once a week which damages both my wallet and doesn't help me trying to eat healthier. On average, I will spend 5-15 dollars a day on food and it's never for anything healthy. It's just food that satisfies my taste buds giving me a bit of happiness for the day. Last week because of work, I was leaving around 6PM which led to late dinners.

So it's not just eating unhealthy at lunch. I do the same for dinner. Sometimes, I skip it because I'm so stressed that I end up sleeping right away (if I can.) If not skipped, I eat late and also never anything homecooked. Last week I had NY style pizza, chinese food x2, a cheeseburger with a fried egg on top, and chick-fil-a. It's ridiculous that I spend all this money instead of saving it like I really need to do, but it's how it will be for the next two months at least.

Unfortunately, I was mistaken in when I get to move out of my current living situation. It is end of June and not end of May. Part of my reason I don't cook at home is because I don't care to see or interact with some roommates. I don't know if it's work that adds on to my stress which causes my tolerance to lessen or if it's just because I just reached a point where I can't shrug off my living situation, but right now i'm just unhappy most of the time. There are just a lot of things at home that annoy me to the point that now I get upset. My problem is that I don't usually say anything as I haven't quite learned how to censor or filter myself where I can get my point across without blowing up.

So enough of all my woes... 137 days... well the date isn't really as important to me as it would be to my cousin who is getting married in 137 days. So why am I using their wedding date? Well, I do like the suit I wore for a friend's wedding in December, but I'd rather fit into a suit I wore almost 2 years ago. With everything seeming to not go my way as of late, I need to take up my goal (and my blogging) again... If anything, it will let remind me and possible motivate myself to try to keep myself on track.

137 days isn't a bad number for a goal. I like how it allows myself to be flexible with my goal. There is no real end result asides into fitting into my suit... just a date. It's not short where it feels like I have to be strict with myself to accomplish anything and it's not too far off where I can keep making excuses. We'll see how this goes...

For now, to solve the not cooking at home problem, I've bought thinkThin bars. While it's not a great solution or even a good solution, I at least have the option of eating something a healthier instead of carryout. I also have cereal that I can snack on in my room. Also, it may be time to retire my running shoes as I really want to try and strengthen my feet (broke left foot before) through minimalist running. I'll probably post on that separately in the future, but for now I'm going to put my shoes through the wash one more time and give them one more go.

With work, I can't stop the stress. I also can't (or rather I don't want to) stop frequenting the food trucks I like. So to compromise, I will only frequent 2 food trucks a week and will try and shoot for just one. For the days I do choose to go to the food truck, I will try to go to a farther location and walk/jog over. On the other days, I'll be going upstairs to the gym. Will this work out? Time will soon tell.

Other changes I've made is removing some guilty pleasures I have for my comfort food. No more burgers, pizza, or pizza puffs. I could mention other fast food, but really the items mentioned are my go to favorites... especially pizza puffs. I would put in hot dogs as they are bar none my most favorite, but that I'll allow once in a while. Also, my favorite food truck is a sausage one.

I think that's all I have for now. I really needed the break from work for writing this... Sorry again for the length. More to come sooner than later I hope.

Boot Camp is kicking my butt

So it's been a while and I've been quite lazy since coming back from Hawaii.

Stress from work and even being annoyed at home has made me just retreat mostly into my room for my own alone time. I expect things to get better in a few months however for home life.

Anyways, I am finally using my bootcamp classes I bought and they've been pretty tough. I wouldn't say tougher than crossfit, but definitely there are a lot more lunges and squats. Really not easy for a bigger guy. I do like how it's a lot of females in the class and how my girlfriend is in the class though. The upperbody workouts are a little easier for me while I am getting a great workout in my core and lower body which is a weakness of mine.

I've done three classes now and I can now complete the class which feels good. Also, not as sore anymore which was a problem after the first two classes. Really, my legs felt like they did after the marathon.

I've started up running again as well which has been tough since I've been trying to change my form and become less of a heel striker. I'll probably get some minimalist shoes soon, but I love my shoes I wore in the marathon too much to let them go right now. What I've been trying to follow is Chi running which is quite similar to barefoot running in terms of form... at least that's how it seems to me.

Anyways, that's all for now. I'll try to post something more substantial soon.

Disappointment?

Well, it's a new year and only 4 days until Hawaii. I can't say I've gotten anywhere near the weight I wanted to hit before Hawaii... Scratch that... I should not go by weight as much as I am definitely stronger through working out at work again. I'll rephrase the weight loss into not feeling as fit and as in shape as I wanted to be before Hawaii.

Couple of issues that I just shrugged off beforehand that I thought I could be tough against.

Holidays: New Years and Christmas (eve and the day for both.) I did not take into account how much food there would be and even with light grazing there was no way I could stand a chance.

One of my closest friend's marriage: Well you can think one night can't be that bad, but it was three nights of food. Combine that with how late the meals were and it was just not a good combination for myself and my "diet".

Really though for both it's one of those things that is to be expected and I am not down at all looking back. Yes I could have worked out at this crossfit gym, but I made choices to spend time with friends I rarely see, to enjoy myself during times with family, and just treat myself when I've been stressed about a lot of things going on in my life.

On a positive note, I am slimmer in my waist and my arms are slightly bigger. If I just keep plugging away I am sure I'll get to where I want to be for my fitness and overall health goals.

Happy New Years!